In the past few weeks, I feel I aged more than in all these 32 years. Hmmm, you won't feel aging till you are out of school and start to work I guess. Once you start to work, you face some harsh realities and come to peace that you are growing up, but I never felt it. I was always aloof, afloat my own lifeboat, had fun at all possible scenarios, escaped life at crucial points, where it tried to confront me. I managed so all these years because I was under the assumption or illusion that my partner is invincible and she is a "go-for-ride-you-life-bitch" girl. I fall sick all the time, I trouble her like a child, I recover after some time and trouble her and it happens every year. Once she fell sick and I started to take care of her, I am in for a new dimension, I have to live to take care of her. She is not so invincible like I thought. She is afraid of something that is not gonna happen to her anytime soon. I got to know how stressful it is to her to take care of me, to live a life with me (of course she signed up for it). When I came to know how her body reacts to stress, I got so worried. I am giving her all these pain in my actions knowingly or unknowingly. She is not some invincible great Sangam Tamil temple. She is just a fellow human made of flesh and feelings. I realized how much I have disrespected her feelings in the course of time. In all, I realized, how much I love her for real, how much I love our life of togetherness. She gave me hope, she taught me valuable lessons. Now it's my time, to make her strong, to make her feel strong again and back on her feet.